Ribbons of Farewell

May of 1962 found Eddy and Betty leaving New Zealand and making their slow way back to Canoe Point and the farm.  Eddy had declared that farming in New Zealand was "a holiday compared to their farm", but despite the strong temptation the dream of moving to New Zealand would not materialize.

Eddy and Betty were sailing near the end of the passenger ship era. The departure scene at that time was still very festive, family and friends would be invited aboard the ship to tour the facilities. Some ships offered refreshments to the visitors and a band would be playing to encourage dancing.  I remember hearing the story of the "ribbon throwing" ceremony but I am not sure if it was my relatives in New Zealand or Switzerland that did this.  A spool of ribbon would be held both by the departing family member or friend, with the other end held by well wishers on the pier.  As the ship would slowly pull away the ribbon would break, symbolizing the farewell.  

Canada would become home for Betty, and she would see very little of her family in the ensuing years.  Travel to New Zealand was prohibitively expensive which made even attending important family events such as the funeral of her parents impossible. I travelled to New Zealand three times with my parents, the last time it was with my one year old son.  The first two visits we had the joy of visiting my grandparents in Waitra where they had a beautiful home on a large lot. Waitra is within the traditional territory of my ancestral tribe, the Ngati Awa.  My grandparents were a fun loving couple, creating a wonderful atmosphere for children.  Their large yard held lemons and oranges, and a tree with branches that swept the ground creating a shady green fort. A short distance down their street we could purchase my favorite flavour of New Zealand ice cream, Tutti Frutti.
I have wondered when my family would miss each other most, and asked my Aunt last time I visited her in Switzerland.  Renee, her mother, had left Switzerland soon after my Aunt married and it would be many years before Renee would be able to make regular visits. My Aunt told me it was during the birth of her children that she wished most for her Mother.
Loss and separation, are events I have become intimate with in the last few years, inspiring the following poem:

Ribbons of Farewell

 I am thankful.

My soul has been scrubbed clean,

even the dust bunnies in the corners have been chased down,

and stamped on.

Not often in your life are you given this chance to be cut away,

cut away from all that has held you,

home, family.

A clean slate to build back on,

a quartz rock my niece found for me.

Abandoned bird nests.

The old goose egg we hoped came from a dinosaur.

I need so little now.

Everyday I face the pain,

it has become a familiar friend, a reminder of all that is possible.

I make room in my heart, shift things around,

smile a welcome.